DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE in Hillwood
by Elf340
Summary: Post TJM. Arnold and Helga have admitted their love each other, but in secret. At least that's what they think until a certain gossip queen knows and will do anything to reveal the juicy scoop. Meanwhile, a cop who is two steps away from being a full blown alchoholic is in Hillwood as a substitute officer after some troubles in NY. It's a nice change... for the moment. Arnold/Helga


**DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE… in Hillwood**

**The first Hey Arnold/Die Hard crossover and my first fanfic… I hope it works lol.**

**This will be a T with brushes of an M due to the violence of the Die Hard films.**

**This fanfic takes place post-TJM. The river pirate La Sombra is captured and finally put in jail. Arnold's parents stay behind in San Lorenzo, but promise that one day they will move to Hillwood once the Green Eyed People no longer need them. The story begins with Arnold and Helga being a couple, but with nobody knowing about, not even their best friends Gerald and Phoebe. Rhonda, being the queen of gossip and all, has been suspicious of both Arnold and Helga since she saw them kissing each other in the jungle and since it's a new school year she has been dying to tell the secret. **

**On the Die Hard side, Hans Gruber's attack on Nakatomi Tower and traitorous U.S. mercenaries at the Washington D.C. International Airport has left John McClane in a bad rut. The New York Police Department has given him two choices, either be suspended indefinitely from the force, or to be a substitute officer in the Hillwood Police Department until further notice. This is an AU take on Vengeance (personally my favorite DH movie, but I understand the greatness of the original) with Arnold, Gerald, Helga, Phoebe and possibly the other kids taking on the role of Zeus Carver. **

**Disclaimer: Hey Arnold belongs to Craig Bartlett and Nickelodeon. Die Hard with a Vengeance belongs to John McTiernan and 20****th**** Century Fox.**

* * *

Life went pretty well for Arnold and Gerald. Along with the rest of the gang, their adventures through the jungle and the capture of La Sombra were the highlights of it. But the football head was sighing in sadness to know that his parents wouldn't come back with him until the Green Eyes no longer need them.

Gerald gave him a hand on the shoulder. "Look man, I know what you're going through, but I promise you that one day, your parents will come back to you. You have to look through the eyes of them man. You can't just suddenly have your parents abandon them after all the trouble the pirates did."

"It's just that being with them for the first time in years and suddenly knowing that they can't come back with you just yet. I just wanted them to be with me again." Arnold said in a solemn tone.

Gerald understood his pain, but he had to change the subject before it became depression. "Arnold, stop. You can't let this come over you. Let it go, and live your life. They'll come back to you one day, I promise."

Arnold lit a small smile. "Okay Gerald, I believe you." "Good" Gerald replied. "Now what are you gonna do about your relationship with Helga?"

Arnold now got into a sour mode "What relationship, Gerald?"

"Come on man, you two got something goin' on. I saw you hold hands with her! Not to mention a kiss on the cheek!" Arnold shook his head. "I was just making sure her hand was alright since it was wounded by a thorn. And look she saved me from La Sombra and so I gave her a kiss on the cheek… which was JUST that… a kiss on the cheek. Nothing came out of it since she still hates my guts."

The tall hair boy was laughing so much that he didn't buy any of it. He knew his best friend was in love, and if anything Arnold was terrible at denying things. "Whatever you say, romeo."

"Gerald…" this was going to be a long day for Arnold.

* * *

Except Gerald, Arnold and Helga, everyone else was in class. With only 10 to 9 until Mr. Simmons' arrival, the kids began to discuss their summer. However, four kids were particularly excited by the fact that they were going to discuss a huge revelation, leading to others being intrigued.

"This better not be about me and the monkeys!" Said Harold

"Boy howdy! What's the secret?" exclaimed Stinky.

"Come on Rhonda tell us!" Sid said with excitement

As she stood on her desk, Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, the fashion/gossip queen of the school, smiled devilishly ever since she witnessed it in San Lorenzo, and now with it being the first day of school, she has been dying to reveal it to the class. "My dear friends, our adventures in San Lorenzo were exciting… somewhat to say the least." Eyeing with great contempt at Curly, ever since he forcefully kissed her, while at the same time saved her from dangerous obstacles in the jungle (which is her version of hell on earth as she vowed never to go back again.)

"Admit it baby! You loved it!" Curly shouted with glee.

Rhonda gritted her teeth as she punched him in the face. "Shut up, you little freak!"

Despite a tremendous wallop, Curly still smiled. "Aww… love."

"Grrr… as I was saying, I have witnessed something that I never thought possible: I saw Arnold and Helga kissing each other… on the lips!"

The entire class gasped! No way is this possible.

Lila was surprised, but was actually overjoyed by it. "Arnold and Helga love each other? Oh my, that's ever so wonderful."

"Ah such irony isn't it? The bully and the victim, falling in love, how come none of us haven't seen this? It should've been obvious from the start." She exclaimed to the class.

Harold then began the kissing song: "Arnold-" Sid continued "and Helga" Then came Stinky with "sittin' in a tree." And together along with the gossip queen "K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Phoebe, knowing Helga's secret and all, quickly intervened. "Actually that's not true since I saw Arnold and Helga getting into a huge argument this morning."

Rhonda then stared wide-eyed at Phoebe "WHAT? Well then, we'll see about that! There's no way I can be wrong! And since everyone else besides them and Gerald are in class, I predict that by the time this door is open Arnold and Helga will be holding han-"

In a flash, Helga came in alone and ruined Rhonda's moment "Holding whose hands, princess?"

Rhonda then flabbergasted "But… I… I thought you were with Arnold?"

"What, football head? How should I know where the heck he is?" Helga finished in an annoyed tone and just as she sat in her seat, Arnold and Gerald entered the room.

At this point now Rhonda was just being desperate by weakly pointing her finger. "Arnold! Ad… admit it; you are in love with Helga!"

Arnold, as he and Gerald go to their seats, says in a flat tone "Um nope, go ask Helga yourself… she hates my guts."

"That's right princess! Now sit down before Simmons comes in!" yelled Helga

She now pulled out her hair as she wouldn't let Helga win this one and yelled. "No way, I won't accept this! The two of you come clean right now and admit that the both of you are-"

"Hello class!" Mr. Simmons just entered the room, leaving Rhonda with no choice but to sit down and groan in disappointment, while Helga just snickered.

_Oh Arnold... it is most unfortunate that my reputation has dictated this to be private, it is most unfortunate that even though you have returned my love I will still treat you the same way as I have in public... but please... wait a little longer... please my beloved football head. _

The gossip queen on the other hand, had other thoughts as well. "_I, Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, will make sure the both of you come clean. I SWEAR IT!__"_

* * *

"*sigh* nice, way to go John, after everything you did, saving the day at Nakatomi and Washington you thought 'come on guys let's go have a beer, celebrate, and have a few laughs' but noooo they still shit-can you at the end." Said a half-awake, migraine induced John McClane with luggage and a pack of Marlboro in his right pocket as leaves the arrival gate and heads to the terminal entrance to wait for a taxi to get out of Hillwood airport. As he reached his left pocket, he groaned in anger. "Why do I always forget those goddamn aspirins everytime I'm on a plane?"

John puts his luggage in the trunk of the taxi and heads inside and tells the driver to head to his destination. "Take me to Hillwood Police Department."

"You got it my friend" as the taxi sped away. About halfway from the airport to downtown, the driver started a conversation especially with news on what's happened in the East Coast. "Hey, have you heard about what happened at the Federal Reserve in New York?"

John couldn't give a rat's ass about the Reserve, if anything bad happened to fat cats in Wall Street, then it was a good sign that he'll have a good day. "No, but then again I hate bankers." The taxi driver chuckled in agreement. "Hey I'm with you man, but what happened is that the subway underneath that place was bombed and three hours later, billions of dollars in gold… suddenly vanished."

Now he started to get interested. "What happened, their security wanting a raise all of a sudden?"

"No idea man, but wow that's a lot of money man." Taxi driver said as he chuckled. "So are you a cop or something?"

"Yep, NYPD gave me two options: to either fuck off or do some sightseeing over here." said John.

* * *

With the taxi arriving at the station, John then took out his wallet "How much for the ride?"

"$36, but since I like you a lot I'll reduce the six." The taxi driver said with a smile.

As he got out his luggage, he wanted to know how Hillwood was like. "How's this place anyway, any different from LA and New York?"

The taxi driver replied "I don't think so, but there are some things. I mean we have the annual Pig War, a boarding house that has hundreds of cats and dogs that vanish and re-appear, Monkeyman who fights local crime, and not to mention this is the home of that kid with the football head."

Even with a 'WTF' face on the second two, John was now confused at the last part. "_Of all those things, even a Batman wannabe_, _how could a kid have a head shaped like a football? If there were such a kid back when I was one, we'd yell 'PUNT THAT KID!' every time." _McClane thought.

"What'd the kid do?" He asked.

"He saved his entire neighborhood from a greedy real-estate developer named Scheck who was trying to develop it into a huge mall that'd dwarf the Mall of America and now the guy is in the slammer. I mean he saved people's homes and small businesses. Now that's a kid everyone should look up to" said the driver.

"_Never mind the football thing then"_ he thought. "We could use more of those kids where I come from." McClane said feeling glad knowing there were people out there who still gave a damn about everyone else.

The taxi driver was now ready to leave. "I hope you enjoy your stay here, and don't worry about anything that raises your eye. I doubt anything surprises this city anymore." And with that, the driver sped away into the crazy traffic of Hillwood.

Before he entered the station, John in a smirk said "They haven't met me then."

* * *

A small dark plane was alone in the grey. Inside the cabin, 10 soldiers surrounded a lone figure in white clothes and black burlap covering his head, while being strapped to a chair. From the entry of the pilot's deck, a woman in a blue jumpsuit came in to check on him. "How's he doing?" she inferred.

"There's something not right with this guy. We asked if he wanted anything and the only thing he tells us is to-"

"-Wait and be patient." He said, finishing for the soldier.

Since the prisoner has been getting under their skin with that statement, she groaned, crossed her arms and decided to get something out of him. "So how does it feel like knowing you've lost everything back there?"

He stood silent, like a statue.

"Tell me!" barked the woman

After moments of silence, he chuckled at first before it reached laughter with sounds of menace.

"It's true! I have lost everything back there. But on the bright side I found that there are much better things I look forward to, agent Bridget."

"And what are those things exactly?" she questioned.

"A countdown" She was puzzled by this, but didn't let it faze her.

"To what?" she demanded.

"You'll see as I begin…

5…

"What's going on, Bridget?" said one of the soldiers.

4…

"Everyone be on your guard!" She ordered.

3…

A soldier began hyperventilating, but stood firm.

2…

"Bridget, what the hell is that outside?" said one of them

1… boom."

A blast of bullets shredded into the cabin of the plane and into organs of the soldiers as armed men in complete black quickly entered through the windows to finish them off. While a few were quickly dispatched by Bridget, the others quickly installed C4 explosives into the plane, freed the captive figure and harnessed him with cable hooks as a signal to the massive cargo plane above them.

From the radio of the tallest of them shouted a man in a German accent "Are we ready?"

Before he could answer, the figure quickly abrupt him "No, not just yet!" He unbuckled his harness and had something shiny from his sleeve.

Bridget quickly fended off the one she was currently on, but before she could get to her prisoner, the prisoner struck her in the abdomen with a large machete. She was now coughing so much blood and fell on the floor while clutching to her stomach.

The prisoner grabbed her hair and shoved her at a nearby wall.

"You may have locked up Scheck, but I was always your true assignment… and you failed."

Bridget could still talk, even after so much red has filled her mouth. "Where will you go?"

"I'm going to visit an old friend of mine, in the states, and I know where he lives." He said in a frightening tone.

Bridget now was in a wide eyed state of shock. "No! No, please don't go after him. Please! He's just a chil-"before she could finish her sentence, his cold hands pushed her neck to a bone crunching sound. She now fell lifeless on the floor as the prisoner took off the burlap from his head.

"A child who threatens the existence of people like me." He finished for her.

The tall man, who was revealed to be speaking in a German accent like the guy from the radio, was getting impatient. "Are we done now?"

"Yes, blow the plane." Finished the prisoner as he buckled himself

"Targo, activate the bombs." The tall man said through his radio.

The men in black and the prisoner immediately evacuated the plane with zip lining the cables as they were being holstered into the cargo aircraft. And just as they got on, Targo pressed the detonators and like a fireworks display, the smaller plane blew into pieces.

As the cargo plane began closing, the tall man took off his mask to reveal a scarred blonde man. He began to have a chat with the prisoner. "So, how would you like billions of dollars?"

The prisoner mused about it. "That's fine and all, but I want the head of the one who captured me. That is the only thing important to me"

The German raised an eyebrow at what he said. "What? Don't tell me you're not a monster yourself!" exclaimed the prisoner.

In a stern, no-nonsense manner, the German said "I'm a soldier not a monster. Even though I sometimes work with monsters. And let me tell you something, once we arrive to our destination, you are to follow exact commands as given. Then once our tasks are accomplished, then you can blow the whole damn city looking for this child. Do you understand?"

There was nothing else he cared for other than to make sure the boy suffered a horrible fate when he would meet with him again, but for the sake of the job, the prisoner had no choice but to comply. "Yes I understand."

The German smiled knowing compliance has been met and offers the prisoner a hand shake. "Good, my name is Simon, and you are..."

Returning the gesture he simply said "Call me… La Sombra."

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this bit, please review.**


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